What She Had

She's not that girl
But she's been crying herself to sleep every night
Not that she feels alone
she cries with feer
with sorrow
with anguish untouchable
and no one even knows.
Not a soul
The ache that fills her soul when she knows that one day, you'll belong to someone
Not her
The bitterness of each memory
She opens a book and a picture falls
Sending her to a self inflicted hell
She's tried to numb the pain but it comes
Each waking moment
And what's worse
sleep won't come to her
the moment her head rests on the pillow you fill her thoughts
Sweet memories that slowly kill her
She checks up on you
Hopes your happy
But she dies knowing that you've moved on
That you don't cry like she does
Because even though you loved her like no one else ever had.
She can't bring you back
People talk about true love
I thought I used to know what it meant
even when we were
I thought I knew
Knew that we needed more
but now
This girl knows
She really did have it.
I had you.
That's why I cry
Had

New

The girl thrived on new
new places
new people
new opportunities
That's all her spirit knew
Knew when her time was up in one place
And knew to move to another
Knew when she was no longer needed in a life
Knew when to move on to new things
Though she kept a little of all the old in her heart
Old memories
old scents
old pictures
That's all her old heart knew
A heart old with goodbyes
Goodbyes welcome
And goodbyes unwanted
But her heart knew
Trusted that it's caretaker was wise
So she took every break
every ache
kept them safely tucked away
Knowing
The caretaker
With gentleness
would take her scarred heart
In his scarred hands
And giver her
New

Veterans, Heros

Happy memorial day everyone! I would like to share an experience that I had this past weekend.
As many may know, my father is a Vietnam veteran, he served in the army for two years, and then went back as military police. I am so proud of him and what he has done for his country, and he was wise enough to distill in me a love for my country that I will be forever grateful for. This last weekend there was a festival where I live, little stalls lined the street with vendors selling everything you can imagine. As I walked the street I noticed an older gentleman with a very familiar hat selling handmade flower poppies to the passersby. He was a veteran, my father has a ball cap very similar to his, most veterans do. Looking on, not one person stopped, as I got closer I heard him say "Buy a poppy and support our veterans", Without a moments hesitation I walked over to the man and gave him some money in exchange for the bright red flower. As he handed me the flower and started to turn I stopped him and thanked him for his service, he mumbled a short reply and turned and left, by the look on his face he seemed unsure how to reply. I realized then, that he is someone's father, husband and son, and. I know how grateful I am to someone who will stop my father and thank him for his service to this great country, the tears in his eyes say it all.
The next day I met another man at the hotel I work at, he had another hat on, though his said WWII veteran. I asked him about his service and then said thank you, he stopped and looked at me and said "that's not something people say very much" I replied telling him "Well it's something you should hear more often". I smiled at him and went back to work, having the rest of the day to ponder on what just happened.
On Sunday night I had the opportunity to watch the national memorial day concert with my parents, as we sat there I turned to my father, the man who raised me, who grounded me when I got into trouble, and who would tickle when I needed to laugh, I saw tears in his eyes, I wondered what was going through his mind. I thought of all of the friends that he lost, dying at his side, fighting for a cause that so many were condemning back home. I thought of the hell known as war that he lived through, I took a moment and tried to picture it for myself, but I knew that all of the action movies I had ever seen could never do it justice. As I stared at this great man before me, a new sense of gratitude filled my heart, he lived through all of that, and was still my father. He found the courage to get up every morning, to live his life, and to help so many people around him. To me, that is one of the greatest examples of bravery and courage I have ever seen.
Many people may not understand what veterans go through, but I've lived with one for nineteen years, I've seen the health problems that he's suffered from the chemicals used in Vietnam, I've seen the affects of PTSD, and I've witnessed the frustration over those who still don't consider not only his sacrifice, but the sacrifice of his comrades who fell fighting by his side, as great as other war veterans. I've talked with him about his return home, how he almost didn't even make it out, and how when he got off of the plane, people who didn't have any idea what he went through, and never would, spit on him and called him a murderer. Yet this great man, gets up every morning, goes to a job where he helps people, and still has enough strength left to be an amazing father at the end of the day.
I'm sure there are many more like me out there who have felt feelings such as these, and to them, I know it would mean the world if their fathers and mothers were thanked for the service given to their country. So please, on memorial day, don't just honor the dead, but thank the living, for they are those who must live on with those memories forever in their minds and hearts.
So thank you dad, I love you. I am so proud of you, and I am so grateful for your service and sacrifice. Some of the proudest moments in my life have been on your arm when we walk into a room and you are wearing your veterans hat, when they play the armed forces medley and you stand to honor your branch, or when a flag passes and I know that my father has fought for that flag and all that it stands for. Thank you daddy! I love you! And you will always be my hero.

Day 9: A favorite picture of my best friend

My bestest friend in the whole wide world, my sister Amy! She's amazing and beautiful! I love her smile, and this picture captures it so well! She is one of the prettiest women I know. I love you Amy! ^_^

P.S. She has a blog: http://amysdestiny.blogspot.com/

A poem about my Savior Jesus Christ

Savior

Softly he lifts me, his eyes full of knowing, understanding.

As he holds me close, healing me. Restoring me with

Virtue, by his grace. He looks down

In compassion on my trembling heart. Scarred hands

Outstretched in mercy and love. He holds the key to forgiveness, my

Redeemer, come to rescue my soul, to bring me home.

                                                                       -Katy Woodruff

Day 8: A place you've traveled to

Nauvoo Illinois

My adventures in the snow and God's love for us...

I looked at the clock then stepped out the door, it was 11 pm and I was walking home from work. There was snow covering the ground and lightly falling from the sky. The night was so quiet and peaceful, it almost felt like a movie. As I continued my walk home I couldn't help but notice all of the untouched snow, and soon enough I found myself running and dancing through the fluff! Hopping from one place to another, making designs on the beautiful white canvas, I made my way to the next sidewalk. Feeling a little silly and very pleased with myself, I started walking again. Soon enough I came up next to the practice field and saw a glorious amount of fresh snow, untouched, and all mine for the taking. The urge to make a snow angel was almost irresistible, but I held back for a moment, thinking that I didn't want anyone to see me and think that I was crazy. As I was justifying this sad excuse to myself I realized that I didn't care what anyone thought of me, and that I was going to do what made me happy. So I ran onto the field, plopped down in the snow and waved my arms and legs like there was no tomorrow, all the time laughing out loud in pure childish delight. Once all of my angel making abilities had been exhausted, I sat up and looked around, and to my dismay, there were two girls walking past looking at me liked I'd just escaped the psychiatric ward. Standing up with as much dignity as I could muster, I brushed off my backside and continued on. 

The streets were covered in snow and ice so I ice skated and twirled the rest of the way home. Upon arrival I changed into some cozy jammies and sat on my bed pondering about my adventure in the snow. When I had started my walk home, I had been praying, just talking to my Father in Heaven about life, and how my day had been. But as I was walking, I began to notice the beauty all around me, and before I knew it I was acting like a 5 year old in a McDonald's play place. As I sat on my bed thinking about this, A scripture that we had talked about in my institute class that morning came to my mind. The scripture is found in Alma 30:44, in it, Alma testifies of Christ to the anti-Christ Korihor, he also tells him that "All things denote there is a God". As that processed through my thoughts, something that a girl had said in my relief society class the day before also popped up. She had said something about how God didn't need to make the world so beautiful, He didn't need to put all of the beautiful colors in the sunsets, or all of the different leaves in the fall, but He did because He loves us. As I stared out the window thinking about all of this, I noticed the glittering snow flakes falling down outside of the frosted glass, and a thought came to me that each one of those little snow flakes represented God's love for me, and for all of His children, He really does love us that much. Though at times all we can see is the roughness of our trials or the coldness of the snow, everything He does in our lives, every little snow flake is because He loves us that much.